Tear the promise from my heart

I’m resurrecting the Bluetealeaf sponsored, thinking monkey for the stupid. It’s like a seeing eye dog, but for cretins.

The first recipient of this highly sought after honour is….. George Osborne.

A budget for growth. It’s like planting seeds on a piece of ground you’ve just dropped an A bomb on, then putting weed killer down and expecting green shoots. All the cuts that have been implemented over the last few months will result in increased unemployment, putting more strain on the welfare state and swallowing up any savings they have made. If you want an economy to grow you have to have people spending. Saddling students with crippling debts and removing education maintenance allowance will have a huge effect on our education system. The removal of funding for workplace training will mean those who are on the bottom rung of the work ladder won’t get any higher, and those that are unemployed won’t be able to learn skills that would get them a shot at a job.

This may sound a bit radical, but allowing those evil bankers to have their bonuses would maybe have meant that they would have spent the money on stuff, like a shiny new conservatory, keeping their local joiner in work, or a nice new car. Remove all incentives to work here and all our skilled people will sod off abroad, all our university graduates will go and work for multi nationals. We’ll be left with a windswept hinterland populated by hooded scroats, littered with dog shit and the only ones working will be behind the counter at one of the three million Greggs bakers.

Is that what you want George?

Here’s your Monkey.