Monday, September 30, 2002  

Finally !

The installation went well, and I think I’ve got everything where it should be. There are just a couple of minor problems to iron out and then it should be ready to go. When I have everything working and my first post is up I will link to the new page, although it could be a few days yet as I am back at work on Wednesday, and I don’t think I’ll fancy twisting my brain cells after a twelve hour shift, not if the last two days are anything to go by.

| posted by Simon | 11:24 pm | 0 comments

Sunday, September 29, 2002  

Ooh nearly !

I have solved the problem with the permissions, but now I am getting this message: “Tie './db/blog.db' failed: No such file or directory” I have looked in the trouble shooting files and I think it’s something to do with the address I have given a file. Although I’m almost sure I have done it right, so I’m stumped really. Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks !

| posted by Simon | 10:23 pm | 0 comments

Busy busy.

Thanks for all your advice about my imminent move to MT. I always had it mind to have a go myself, and Tom gave me the final push. I’m about half way there, but I have given up for tonight, I’m having problems setting the permissions on my ftp.

I have also just put the finishing touches to my first commercial web design, it should be uploaded onto the server in the next couple of days, as well as all that I have put a rough index page onto my own new domain. I’m sure everything will come together over the next few days.

| posted by Simon | 12:47 am | 0 comments

Wednesday, September 25, 2002  

Attention MT users.

Before I embark on the installation of MT onto my brand spanking new domain has anyone with previous experience got any advice ? Mostly what I need to know is what not to do, and if there are any pitfalls I should be aware of. I know this is probably taking all the fun out of it, but I have just read the instructions for installation and my head is in bits !

| posted by Simon | 10:42 pm | 0 comments

A foul stench hangs over the swamp !

Today I mothballed pravda88, I intend to use it as storage for bluetealeaf until I make the switch to MT. I also bought my new domain and hosting, I will give you the link when the index page has been up loaded. The move to MT is quite daunting, but I’m sure if I need help I only have to ask ?

The car finally went into the body shop this morning, it’s having a new rear panel and some paintwork, so I should get it back tomorrow.

There is a distinct whiff of bung hanging around Old Trafford today, as rumours that Diego Forlan was way over priced for his move to Salford’s finest. If anyone saw his performance last night it is blatantly obvious that the man is worth nowhere near £7m, more like £700,000. The brown envelope has been used again…….allegedly !

| posted by Simon | 7:01 pm | 0 comments

Tuesday, September 24, 2002  

By the way.

There is a new poll up, and just in case you aren't familiar with Alan Partridge, that wasn't a real radio broadcast.

| posted by Simon | 12:21 am | 0 comments

Counter argument ?

After the countryside alliance marched in London, Alan Partridge provided us with the other side of the coin. Talking to a farmer on radio Norwich, he said: “If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there’s a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who’s also your brother”.

Absolute class !

| posted by Simon | 12:07 am | 0 comments

Monday, September 23, 2002  

Stingy by committee

I always try to make an effort to pass on my pay-and-display parking ticket, it always has at least an hour left on, so I give it away, a random act of kindness. After a while people started to reciprocate, and it has since become an unwritten rule of car parks. Today, in Barrow, I have seen the future. The new pay-and-display meter requires you to input the numeric part of your car registration number, just so you can’t pass it on. Town centre car parks are always full all day, the council must make a fortune, (as if council tax isn’t enough) and now they are insisting we can’t even do one another a good turn. No wonder this country is rapidly going down the fucking shitter.

| posted by Simon | 8:32 pm | 0 comments

Sunday, September 22, 2002  

Self exploration.

If you look down to your right, in the misc section, you’ll see a new link. I have finally got round to putting some of my work down on screen for everyone to read. I don’t profess to be very good at it, but it’s all my own work. I will add to it over time. You can let me know what you think if you like, but please don’t be too vociferous.

| posted by Simon | 8:58 pm | 0 comments


Am I the only person in Christendom to think Dinotopia is a big bag of shite, I haven’t seen such unadulterated drivel in a long long time. It isn’t just the fact that the dinosaurs can talk, or that the storyline is suspect…..oh who am I kidding, the dinosaurs talk, how ridiculous is that ? I would refuse to watch it, but I have no choice because Tracy thinks they’re cute ! I think it may be grumpiness because there has been no football today. An article in web user cheered me up, it described Tom Hanks as being “born to play the lead roll in Paint Drying: the movie” I wholeheartedly agree. Now where did I put that bottle of wine……….

| posted by Simon | 7:15 pm | 0 comments

Diamond geezer ?

Has a loved one just popped their clogs ? If so, go here and make something of them.

| posted by Simon | 12:00 pm | 0 comments

Driller killer.

The bathroom is done, and looks very nice. Decorating isn’t usually something that strikes fear into the heart, but there was drilling involved, and…….well let’s just say my track record with “doing things” about the house is littered with minor disasters, and the fact that I haven’t been hospitalised as a result is purely down to blind luck. So when it became clear that I had to drill a hole in one of the tiles I considered playing dead, but then my usual bravado took over, and I thought I’d just do my best and hope. We now have a brand new shower head and bracket, neatly screwed into the tiled area of our bath, no cracks in the tiles and no broken bones…..I declare it a triumph. At this point I could get cocky and start to try even more difficult things, like knocking nails in straight, or even a flat pack vegetable rack from Argos. When this post success confidence gets hold of me, one of my family usually reminds me of the Rabbit hutch I tried to build a few years ago, the poor bunny would have needed ropes and crampons just to get into it, and probably full body armour for when the “hutch” collapsed under it’s huge weight. Suffice it to say it never housed a Rabbit, or anything else for that matter. We burned it. The memory of the fire usually persuades me to only attempt the most basic and necessary of household jobs, and leave the rest to the professionals. But the bathroom looks nice, so I’m going to bask in the glory of a job well done, until the next one comes along.

| posted by Simon | 1:39 am | 0 comments

Friday, September 20, 2002  

Mental image.

The whole dilemma of meeting internet acquaintances face-to-face is a terrifying one. It’s one that Stuart has been grappling with. The problem as I see it, and this only applies to consenting adults, is one of first impressions. When we meet someone for the first time we rely heavily on how they look, and how they act in the first few minutes, but with internet acquaintances it’s a little different. We already know things about each other, especially bloggers, we often know all the gory details. At the very least we have a good mental image of the person in question. So, why is it such a terrifying concept ? This goes back to my earlier question about hiding behind this shield, that we are open and honest because we know there will be no physical contact, no eye contact. The person reading our posts could be next door or twelve thousand miles away. Remove the barrier and we are vulnerable, open to all the usual bullshit that plagues normal relationships. There is a good argument that life is life, and blogging is blogging, and ne’er the twain shall meet. But I like meeting people so bollocks to that. The possibility that the writer of the blog you have been reading for the last six months is an axe wielding psychopath has got to be quite slim, so just go for it. If I were you Stuart I would pick someone in Hawaii or Australia, that would be a really nice trip and would make up for the person being a complete twat.

I have just spent two days putting my own poems down in HTML, I finished it off this morning and clicked on my FTP…….nothing, broke. I ran a little program last week called “ad-aware” it cleans all the spyware off your hard drive, unfortunately it has also binned some parts of my FTP. If anyone can recommend a nice free FTP I will upload said files for everyone to read.

I’ve got to get back to decorating the bathroom, it has to be finished today.

| posted by Simon | 7:38 pm | 0 comments

Thursday, September 19, 2002  

Random thoughts from my inbox.

.......moreover, because we were catchers of fish, and not skilled in books, therefore did He also say to us: "I will send you the Spirit, the Paraclete, that He may teach you that which ye know not;" for it is by His gift that we speak those things which ye hear. McLean ignored it. He walked quietly to the base of the stairs, looked up, saw nothing of interest. Risking the flight of his quarry, he called for anyone in the house to come out. Nothing. It was silent as a crypt inside, and the only the dust moved, dancing along the shafts of light. Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.#0 (Placed in the middle of the Centre for Contemporary Art, the yellow canary was given a very large and comfortable cylindrical white cage, on top of which circuit-boards, a speaker, and a microphone were located.) Take this brother, may it serve you well. All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood. Full on his head discharg'd the pond'rous blow; Down sinks the felon headlong to the ground, The guilty soul flew trembling through the wound. #1 ( A clear Plexiglas disc separated the canary from this equipment, which was wired to the phone system.) FDVDA FVVVX GDDAV VFGXA DXGXX PDAVX GDXVV DXAAV GDAFD GFD. #2 ( In New York, an electrode was placed on the plant's leaf to sense its response to the singing of the bird.) Proceed to next roundabout and turn right again, immediately right onto Warhurst Road and right again into our car park. #3 ( The voltage fluctuation of the plant was monitored through a Macintosh running a software called Interactive Brain-Wave Analyser.) Choice is the name of the value you would like to appear in your email in response to the category. choice is the word or words that you would like to appear next to the fill-in box. #4 ( This information was fed into another Macintosh running MAX, which controlled a MIDI sequencer.) To its shame, it has also become a willing accomplice is yet another assault on the rights of the Kurdish people. I urge you to reconsider the decision. #5 ( The electronic sounds themselves were pre-recorded, but the order and the duration were determined in real time by the plant's response to the singing of the bird.) I returned to the scene the following day to take photographs of the area and to retrieve the missing wheel trims. #6 ( When this work was shown publicly, the bird and the plant interacted for several hours daily.) To Andy, happy birthday from Simon and Tracy. Have a good one!!! #7( Humans interacted with the bird and the plant as well.) Turn to the left, walk to the edge, hop back once and take a running jump to grab the next pillar. Pull up. Walk to the far left corner and line Lara up facing the ledge in front of the doorway beyond. Hop back and take another running jump to the ledge. #8 ( Just by standing next to the plant and the bird, humans immediately altered their behaviour.) I dream of peace and harmony, and sometimes I have visions of how things could be. One day somewhere on a yet unprinted calendar, everyone’s bottle of human frailty will be half full. To reverse mankind’s cynicism and prejudice will bring us to within a heartbeat of our true potential and forward to the new millennium and beyond. Remember my friend London had to burn to rid us of the plague. And the leaves that are green turn to brown. #9( When in close proximity, the interaction was further enhanced by the constantly changing behaviour of the bird and the plant, which responded by singing more [bird], activating more sounds [plant], or by remaining quiet.) As a rule, you want more tomatoes in the gazpacho than anything else. A nice looking gazpacho should have a pretty orange-red colour. In a diverse multi-cultural society it's a shame that the worm can't be turned. When people still die for their colour, the lesson is there to be learned. It was one of those days, when the sky turns grey, and there's a mad hatter rain storm beating down on the streets. You want to drive fast, but the mist from the road and other cars make you think otherwise. That's fine though, there's no need to rush, class can wait. In the fast pitch of another day late to class, the rain tells me to slow down. In 12 absorbing sessions, Kornfield introduces listeners to Buddhism's most basic foundation for mindful living: The Ten Perfections. These Perfections offer immediate answers to challenges faced in daily living. Kornfield presents listeners with meditations and mindfulness techniques to help them open to the higher qualities already rooted in their hearts. We came across the west sea, we didn't have an idea of the kind of climate waiting..........

| posted by Simon | 9:19 pm | 2 comments

Wednesday, September 18, 2002  

Scooby snack [1].

Take one medium ciabatta, warm in the oven, cut in half and butter lightly. On one side spread a layer of crunchy peanut butter, and on the other spread thickly with a good quality soft cheese (a ripe brie is ideal). Now for the filling. Cover the bottom piece of your bread generously with pastrami, and sprinkle with thinly cut red and green pepper, cucumber, spring onion, olives and sun blushed tomatoes. Add salt and pepper to taste, and if you have it, a little caramelised red onion marmalade will give a final kick. Serves two, and is nice with a bottle of red wine.

| posted by Simon | 7:48 pm | 0 comments

Tuesday, September 17, 2002  

Digital shield.

Do we hide behind words ? peering out from behind a plastic barrier, just long enough to cast our thought into the void. Is that what blogging is ? just a sanitised method of non confrontational opinion mongering ? Or, is it a real way of sharing thought and ideas……I’ve been doing this for a little over six months and I still can’t get my head round it. Any help, or just your musings, would be much appreciated.

| posted by Simon | 8:02 pm | 0 comments

Monday, September 16, 2002  

Freaky !

Strange things have been happening, sometimes when I hit the back button, back here, I end up somewhere else. Either that or I am losing it………….again.

Oh, and by the way, I’m taping the Pilger documentary, so don’t tell me about it. Ah well, time to chill before bed.

| posted by Simon | 8:08 pm | 0 comments

Sunday, September 15, 2002  

Good news

One of the first blogs I started to read has been missing for a long time. It’s now back, in a different guise, but back none the less.

| posted by Simon | 3:38 pm | 0 comments

Thursday, September 12, 2002  

Dear diary….

wake up, big yawn, rub eyes, wash face, brush things, drink coffee, drive car, clock in, work hard, clock out, drive car, eat tea, deep bath, type words, drink coffee, sleep sound. [wage slave ?].

Today bluetealeaf had it’s 5000th visitor, and the lucky reader is……….Molly.

| posted by Simon | 7:45 pm | 0 comments

Tuesday, September 10, 2002  

Shades of grey.

Yesterday morning was beautiful, the sky was bright blue, it was warm and the sounds filtering into our home were happy. Today things have changed, everything is grey and damp. It feels like the environment has made a cognitive decision to change, to become sombre. Our reasons for being happy have been removed and been replaced with a guilt free sadness, because a year ago tomorrow it was them and not us. I think maybe Autumn will come early for a few years yet.

I didn’t want to mention tomorrows date, I don’t want to be on any search results page for what happened last year, every time I look at the TV I see someone stood at GZ intruding on peoples private grief, apparently it has become the number one tourist attraction. I feel the same disdain for these ghoulish voyeurs that I have for those who have been on the coach trips to Soham over the last few weeks. What makes people want to visit places where things like this happen ? I’ll be kind and put it down to morbid curiosity, although I’m sure others will be less kind.

Perhaps I could be accused of adding to the plethora of bollocks written about last years events, and to be honest I didn’t really want to post about it. But, politics and passions aside, I just wanted to say that I haven’t forgotten. Even though the edges have blurred and all things are just shades of grey, I haven’t forgotten.

| posted by Simon | 9:24 am | 0 comments

Monday, September 09, 2002  

Trifle inspectors ?

Apparently Saddam Hussein is capable of building a nuclear weapon........if someone sells him some Plutonium ! I have just had a look in our cupboard, and if someone can sell me some whipping cream and a tin of mandarin oranges I could knock up a reasonably good trifle. I will not allow the NATO trifle inspectors in our kitchen, it's the principle of the thing, no one is going to tell me I can't stock pile one of my favourite desserts. Maybe if I accept a massive loan from the world bank and sell the rest of my family into debt repayment servitude, maybe then I will be allowed to produce my desserts unfettered by international law. Oh, sorry I forgot, we have no oil.

| posted by Simon | 1:43 pm | 0 comments

New coat of paint.

Let's put a new coat of paint on this lonesome old town
Set 'em up, we'll be knockin' em down.
You wear a dress, baby, and I'll wear a tie.
We'll laugh at that old bloodshot moon in that burgundy sky.

All your scribbled lovedreams, are lost or thrown away,
Here amidst the shuffle of an overflowing day.
Our love needs a transfusion so let's shoot it full of wine,
Fishin' for a good time starts with throwin' in your line.

Tom Waits.

| posted by Simon | 12:51 am | 0 comments

Saturday, September 07, 2002  

Weekend wanderings.

On either side of today’s match my wanderings around the net have thrown up, among others: Something funny, something beautiful, something fishy and something interesting. Shame the match wasn't good enough to warrant a link.

| posted by Simon | 7:32 pm | 0 comments

Friday, September 06, 2002  

Picture the scene.

You are a woman, a mother, lying in bed breathless but content, with a post coital glow. Only thing is, the man you just slept with isn’t your husband, he’s just some bloke from your village that you fancied. Now, you can discuss the rights and wrongs of adultery till your blue in the face, but what do you realistically expect the consequences to be ? It’s a safe bet that most people would expect when caught, worse case scenario….. the end of the relationship with your husband, right ? What if, say when you got caught you were tried by your peers and sentenced to death, sentenced to be buried up to your armpits and have stones thrown at your head until you die. A tad harsh I hear you cry, well it’s happened twice this year in Iran.

The tabloids have been shouting for the reintroduction of the death penalty in the wake of th Soham murders, if we reintroduce the death penalty for child murderers, why not carry on to any other murderers, then rapists and paedophiles, then what ? drink drivers ? shoplifters ? people who oppose your political beliefs ? where does it end, take a piss up the back of your local pub and the next thing you know you’re swinging from a noose. I know that’s a little glib, but the whole philosophy of society taking peoples lives engenders such a feeling of incredulity that I have trouble expressing it. I have a real problem with people who are quite willing to be party to a murder in order to rid society of a murderer. For a long time the irony of that was lost on me, now it just makes me nervous.

| posted by Simon | 11:03 am | 0 comments

Praise Marx and pass the prozac.

The queen is said to be considering getting rid of the royal train. I’m inclined to disagree, if you take into account how fucking dangerous it is to travel by train nowadays, I think it should her preferred mode of transport. In fact we should make her live on it with the rest of her inbred parasitic family. The runaway train rolled down the track and she blew - woowoo !

My work bag has a zip on the side, when I zip it closed it makes a sound like it’s saying “ Ed DeGoey” my bag says the name of the Chelsea goalkeeper. Do any of your household things talk to you ?

I have heard a rumour that the FA will postpone any ban for Roy Keane until after the Salford midfielder has convalesced from his hip op’. This means he will miss the Derby match in November, and the City fans were so looking forward to giving him a warm reception at the fortress.

| posted by Simon | 9:07 am | 0 comments

Thursday, September 05, 2002  

Fanny Craddock ?

You can’t beat a bit of food porn, and Nigella Lawson provided about half an hours worth tonight. I especially liked the Pineapple chocolate sticks…..mmmmm. Dave Allen did a sketch about food and sex years ago, but that ended in them being sick. Ainsley Harriet just goes for the old double entendre which just makes me cringe. I suppose I could always record a flake ad’. Are food and sex inextricably linked ? tell me what you think.

| posted by Simon | 10:13 pm | 0 comments

Tempus fugit.

Where do the days go, it only seems like five minutes since my post on Sunday.

I have read a lot of really good posts recently about current affairs and such, so I'm a bit loath to broach similar subjects. One thing that is really annoying though is how people brand you as an apologist for certain things or people just because you are against the knee jerk reactions of the majority. I had an argument at work recently about the re-introduction of the death penalty, and because I am of the opinion that this method of punishment is both barbaric and a poor deterrent I was branded an apologist for the Soham murderers. Equally, my stand against military action in Iraq has seen me branded a supporter of "Islamic terrorists". I find it both annoying and scary that a large percentage of the population allow themselves to soak up all the one sided spin that the media throw at them without a second thought, without wondering what the real story is. That's a good boy, drink your beer, smoke your cigs, eat your pies.... you watch eastenders, and we'll sort out all the complicated stuff, no need for you to worry, just a little cross in that box....that's it, see you in four years.

Fucking wake up and smell whatever it that wakes you up best, look through the filters of ulterior motive and try to see the real reasons for things, an unfulfilled search for the truth is far better than the grim acceptance of a lifetime of lies.

| posted by Simon | 12:48 am | 0 comments

Sunday, September 01, 2002  

You want numbers ?

I got numbers………

0. Is the number of cushions on my sofa.
384. That’s the megs of RAM in my puter.
177. That’s the number of results google has for bluetealeaf.
45. That’s the number of hours music stored on the HD.
7. Is the number of years I have worked at the hell hole.
20. That’s the number of people who link to here.
20. Is also the number of gigs in my new hard drive.
3. Is the number of arguments I have had this week with pro death penalty people.

I have got numbers swirling about in my head, coming out of my ears and generally making a nuisance of themselves. One number I have lost count of is the number of times I have started to type a post and deleted it because it was strained and ill thought out. All the keys on the keyboard seem to be blank, it has become a blind spot over the last few weeks, it sometimes feels like I have forgotten how to read and write……….. a dry retch into my cerebral bucket. I need inspiration and I’m not going to find it staring at this fucking keyboard, and the flashing cursor ticking away the seconds till Monday. I will go to find inspiration but, like Fu Manchu, I will return.

In the mean time have a look at this, scroll down to the blue links, there are some contentious issues here, some good reading.

| posted by Simon | 11:32 pm | 0 comments

This is the toy squad, you're surrounded.

Just give the bear back, and we can all go home.

| posted by Simon | 8:14 pm | 0 comments
a good book
tres bon
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