Always Marry An April Girl

Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy,
Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;
April soft in flowered languor,
April cold with sudden anger,
Ever changing, ever true --
I love April, I love you.

23 years, and it doesn't seem like five minutes.

Nutmeg cluster.

Two words that strike fear into the heart of the DIY hating male of the species. Yes, the dreaded paint charts are out again. I should have known when she said “let’s go and have a look round B&Q”. I need a cunning plan.

I have to say I was pleased when I heard that Big Phil had ruled himself out of the running for the England managers’ job. I do think we should win or lose with an Englishman at the helm. After today’s announcement from Charlton it looks like the new boss will be Alan Curbishley. The whole saga has made the FA look amateurish to say the least.

UKTV documentary has been running a lot of David Attenborough documentaries over the last few weeks, and it’s been very enjoyable. Especially the “best of” last weekend. A host of minor celebs voted for their favourite clips from the many programmes that Attenborough has done. There were some awe inspiring clips and some very funny ones. For me the Blue Whale clip was the best and the Liar bird was the funniest. His Easter Island plea to mankind was very moving delivered without sounding preachy or holier than thou. He really is a great documentary maker.

The fig brandy has been filtered and transferred to a clean bottle. A new batch is stewing away as we speak. I haven’t started the vodka yet, there are still a few pieces of equipment to gather together. These things have to be planned properly or we could end up with tractor fuel.

Now, how do I get out of that decorating ?

Two wheels on my wagon.

I have recently gone two weeks without alcohol. This wasn’t an enforced abstinence; I wanted to see if I could. I wanted to see if I felt any better for not drinking. I’m very pleased to report that I didn’t feel any improvement in my health, or any other aspect of my life for that matter, with two weeks on the wagon.

About six weeks ago I bought a cheap bottle of Vodka, in fact I don’t even think it was classed as Vodka, it was so poor it had to be labelled white spirit. Anyway, I wasn’t being cheap, you can’t skimp on booze. I also bought one of those little foil packets of Figs, I then combined the two in a large bottle and let nature take its course. I tried a shot yesterday. It’s smoother than a good ten-year-old malt and has a lot more flavour than your average Brandy. A vast improvement on white spirit and still a good deal cheaper than a bottle of blue label Smirnov.

I’m also considering making my own Poteen. I have a cunning plan that includes a couple of buckets, a fish tank heater and five pounds of King Edwards. I’ll keep you posted, and don’t worry – the whole system doesn’t work under any pressure, I use science. I suppose fifteen years in the chemical industry has left me with at least one transferable skill.

Not to be accused of only posting about my beloved team when they are winning, I feel I must comment on the recent nose dive. Six defeats in six has taken us from the brink of a uefa cup place to just above the relegation zone. Some City fans are calling for Pearce to go; I can only shake me head at these suggestions. We need to give him another four seasons at least, and expect nothing in that time. City need stability and SP needs time to get things right. I would like to see a little more grit and determination from the old pro’s in the team, but I think they all have one eye on the summer holidays.

In the next few weeks we celebrate our twenty third wedding anniversary, and a little after that we go to Turkey for a week. Between now and then I have classes to teach. I did my first full day in front of a class last week. I really enjoyed it. The first half hour was a bit nerve racking, but after that it settled down, and after the afternoon session went really well it was such a buzz. I ached all over that night; I must have been really tense all day. I have another four full days to do, with the possibility of a lot more in the coming months. I never thought I would be able to do this part of my job, but it now seems to be the bit I look forward to most.

I don’t know why I haven’t been posting here, there are loads of things that have pissed me off enough to rant about, I’ve just not had the motivation. Let’s hope that changes or it may be another month.