Thanks for the memories.

A long time ago I stood on the side of Ewen field on a wet Sunday afternoon to watch a Mike Sweeney eleven take on City in a charity match. It was the one and only time I saw George Best play football live. Towards the end of the match George picked up the ball on the edge of his own penalty area, beat about half a dozen players and managed to get the ball about a foot from goal. He then looked up, and set off back the other way, beating almost every other player on the pitch, and finally putting the ball in his own net. I’ve never seen skill like it, and I really don’t think I ever will again.

Thanks for the memories George.

RIP.

Swapping clouds for mountains.

Sometimes, every once in a while, there is a band of low dark cloud on the horizon. It gives a feeling of oppression and makes me homesick. I didn’t realise that there was something I missed from living in the shadow of the Pennines, living in a valley is somehow very comforting. Living on the coast leaves me feeling vulnerable. With this in mind we booked our Christmas holiday by the sea.

The Red sea beckons, sun and sand on Christmas day. Last year we went to see Pyramids, and this year we’re going to see some different ones. I wonder what happens at Giza on mid winter.

Once again Vinny the terrible cunt will be overseeing security at HQ. The bloke who looked vaguely sinister at the bus stop last Christmas comes out of hospital soon, so Vinny should have no worries.

Anyone been to Makadi bay ?

Reasons to invade Iran #1.

They have a revolutionary government. They are now (allegedly) helping the Iraqi freedom fighters insurgents to kill our boys. We can also infer from this that they eat fluffy puppies and do bad things to nice people. We should send troops to free them from the shackles of their evil undemocratic junta.

In an effort to ensure that I don’t get drawn to their evil ways I will endeavour to eat more burgers, drink more cola and learn not to question the motives of our glorious leader. Now where did I put that blindfold ?

Movie review.

Are you a bit “bunged up” ? Or just in need of an adrenaline hit ? Get yourself down to your local DVD rental boutique and book out The Descent. If I had had the chance to write one of those little mini reviews on the back of the box I would have written “I fucking shit myself”. It’s one of those that makes you jump, even when you know its coming.

We also saw a strange Tomb Raider clone called National Treasure with Nicholas Cage; it was actually quite good even though Cage did his usual Shatner impression.

The seven signs of aging.

A famous skin care range claims to be able to overcome the seven signs of aging. Let’s see if it can shall we ?

1. Grey hair.
2. Liver spots.
3. Wearing jeans with a jacket.
4. Eating mush.
5. Stinking of piss.
6. Shouting at cars.
7. Dieing.

Quite a claim I’m sure you’ll agree. No wonder it’s £20 a fucking jar.

Poppies and presentations.

Today I delivered my first presentation, I didn't dry up or freeze, or any of the other things I thought I might do. It just went really fast, so fast I thought I'd rushed it, but I hadn't. When they were leaving they said thank you. How cool is that ?

A couple of days ago I cut some old links from the roll, one was Smidsy, he started blogging again the day after. Coincidence ? I think not.

I usually buy a poppy, I know a lot of people don't for a lot of reasons, but I do. I like to remember, even though I abhor war I can't simply discard the memory of thousands of lives given up for a cause they believed in. When I was 14 I stood on the beach at Dunkirk and visited the nearby graves at Aramanche (I think) and it made it all very clear. To see all those grave stones standing as if on parade made it real. Each grave stone was a person, they stretched for miles. A group of teenagers who didn't give a fuck for owt, moved to silence by a scene I'll never forget. I don't care if it's hypocritical, I'll buy a poppy and wear it, and hope it never happens again.

Confused, Cumbria.

Sometimes politics confuses the fuck out of me, one minute Blair is taking absolutely no fucking notice of the people who stuck him in charge, the next he is. He has an answer for everything. When the people of this country were dead against a war in Iraq he ignored us, when his rebel MPs vote against him he accuses them of being out of touch. He should make his fucking mind up.

It seems, if you believe all the polls, that the majority of people in this country want the 90 day rule in place. Fair enough if that’s what the majority want. I have to say I disagree with them, I think we are moving into very dangerous territory if we remove rights we have had for hundreds of years, just on the off chance we think someone may be a terrorist. Funny really, Blair is responsible for Muslim terrorist attacks on our country; he took us into an illegal war against a country that had done nothing to us.

If you lock up a young Muslim because you think he looks a bit dodgy, and you keep him in prison, without any evidence, for three months. Do you really think he will be happy when he comes out ?

Tony, pull the troops out of Iraq, apologise for the atrocities you committed in our name, resign your position and spend the rest of your days in obscurity. That way we may never again be a target for terrorists. No need for a 90 day rule then eh ?

I looked at the list of those labour MPs who voted against our blessed dictator. My MP, Tony Cunningham, wasn’t on it. There’s a fucking surprise, he supported the war in Iraq and he also supports ID cards. When I wrote to him about the total lack of dental care in Cumbria he was less that forthcoming. I received a couple of letters outlining what they are planning to do. Have they done it ? Have they fuck !

It’s about time those useless fuckers in Parliament started looking to the problems here at home, instead of trying to solve the problems of the world.

Love is a fiery ring.

To mark the 400th anniversary of Guido Faulks’ attempt to blow up parliament, Carlisle staged a recreation. This time the houses of parliament went up in flames, and was accompanied by a magnificent fireworks display. Over thirty thousand people stood in Bits Park on a wet night and watched a giant model of parliament, made from pallets, burn to the ground in about thirty minutes. The spectacle was worth the trip, but the music that accompanied the whole show was inspired. The track list:

1. (?) Can’t for the life of me remember the first track.
2. Anarchy in the UK.
3. My guy.
4. Ring of fire.
5. Burning down the house.
6. Heroes.
7. Fire starter.
8. Disco inferno.

The final part of the display was accompanied by classical music, Tracy thought it was Vivaldi, I thought it was Prokofiev. Whoever it was, it was fantastic and the timing was perfect. The music faded out as the last coloured sparks faded from the last firework.

Lots of fun was had by all, except the bloke at the end complaining about council tax money being spent on fireworks. Ah well, you can’t please everyone I suppose.