Cast your vote for the Carpenter.

The grinning cunt has called the election, and I’m sure there will be a lot of blogging about it between now and early May. The prospect of another four years with this Labour government at the helm fills me with dread. So what am I going to do about it then ? I can’t vote Conservative because I remember what the fuckers did to this country last time they were in charge. I can’t vote Liberal because I think they are a wish-washy bunch of fence straddling indecision monkeys. The rest are, at best, well intentioned but sadly lacking new ideas in the key areas. So I’m fucked then, I may as well just sit at home and let nature take its course. I’m sorry, I can’t do that either, because if I don’t take part how can I possibly complain about them later ? So what does someone with no real choice do when stood in the voting booth ?

At the last elections, which included a vote for our MEP as well, I wrote a short critique of each candidate in their corresponding box on the ballot paper. This time, if there is enough room, I want to write a little request to the eventual winner, including but not limited to the following.

To the new government:

It would be really nice to have a government that conducted itself with a little humility, not assuming that we will just swallow anything you decide we need. In your dealings with those who live in other countries it would be nice if you treated them as you would like to be treated, and not like commodities you can buy sell or kill at your whim. Stop bending over and letting the US butt fuck you, it’s really annoying to be linked to such religious fundamentalists. It goes without saying that I would like to see schools and hospitals improved, and also free university education for those who want it, and no I don’t mind paying a little extra for it. I would like to see PFI and ECG scrapped, they are tantamount to welfare for the rich and should have no part in our society. Please could you try and make it harder for arms manufacturers to export their deadly wares abroad ? Recent talk of deregulation of licensing would turn the world into one giant arms fair. Oh, and you can stick your identity cards up your arse.

Thank you.