You should be bludgeoned in your bed.

The BBC news has had me pissing myself with laughter today. On two separate occasions the newsreader and his autocue parted company, and pure comedy gold was the result.

#1
“Here are the pictures sent back by the Huygens probe from the surface of Titan, and in the foreground you can see what is believed to be solid liquid.”

#2
“If you are waiting to watch match of the day, and don’t want to know the results, look away now. (pause) Spurs haven’t beaten Chelsea in 29 attempts…… now it’s 30.”

He went on the read out the results of all today’s Premier league games.