Bruises that won't heal.

I really didn’t think Mexico would surprise me, with its shopping malls, McDonalds, Burger King, Domino’s Pizza and a host of other American influences. But then which countries don’t have these ? If you draw up a list and compare it to the axis of evil it will probably be strikingly similar. These influences notwithstanding, Mexico did surprise me. It’s a very laid back place, and if you don’t like the American influence there is still a great deal to do.

I have also discovered the joys of the Hammock and the Margarita, what a fantastic pair of inventions, and they compliment each other perfectly.

In the past I have heard a lot about how “special” it is when you swim with Dolphins. I had always taken this with a pinch of salt; they are just another mammal after all. When we decided which excursions to take we both had ones that we really wanted to do, the Dolphin experience was Tracy’s, mine was Chichen Itza. Even when I got into the water and the Dolphin was swimming quite a way off I thought it would be a case of us stroking a trained animal. But when Semo, a ten-year-old pregnant female Dolphin, came over to us it was amazing. It wasn’t just us touching the Dolphin; it was definitely a two-way experience. I left feeling as though I had connected.

Chichen Itza is a sacred Mayan and Toltec site. Temples and buildings exist from a large span of time. What is left of the buildings isn’t the amazing part, although the temple of Kulkulkan (pyramid) is a site to behold. What they represent is the truly amazing thing. The Mayans had a complete understanding of how time works, the calculated the year at 365 days, they knew the Solstices and Equinoxes and predicted solar eclipses with great accuracy. The whole site is too big to see in one day, but I did climb to the top of the pyramid; what an amazing view, and to imagine what had taken place in the very spot that I stood on, made me reflect on how far we have come and how much knowledge we have lost.

They called it a jungle tour, but it wasn’t really in the jungle and two places don’t make a tour. I was excellent though. We climbed into our two-seater speedboat and followed the guide around the lagoon, in and out of the Mangroves, and finally out to sea. We tied our boats together about ten feet from the reef and put on our snorkeling gear. We then spent about an hour looking at the reef and the fish, took some pictures with a cheap under-water camera, and then got back in the boats for the return journey. It sounds simple, but it was exhilarating and very enjoyable, and right near the end we saw a two and a half meter Crocodile sunning itself on the rocks.

As a Brucey bonus, when I got back, the Taxdodger and his girlfriend had bought me “Blue blood - the Mike Doyle story” for Christmas, signed by the man himself. If you are wondering who the hell Mike Doyle is then you are not a football fan. If you are mumbling under your breath about how much you hate him, then you are probably a red. I would love to see some of today’s professional primadonnas come up against a defender of his class. Mind you, with all the diving that goes on he probably wouldn’t last two minutes before being sent off.

I’m off to see if I can recreate the Margaritas I drank in Mexico.

...in the sunny Caribbean sea.

Hola from a very hot and sunny Mexico.

The first couple of days were a little stressful, until we managed to get the room we were promised, but since then it's been fantastic. Snorkeling on the worlds second largest coral reef has been the highlight so far, but tomorrow we are going to Chichen Itza to see the ancient Mayan ruins, so we may have a tie for the best bits. On Christmas day we are going swimming with Dolphins.... the joys of package holidays eh ?

The busses here are insane, but strangely enough cheaper and more efficient than in the UK, maybe someone should come out here and see how it's done. Like most other tourist destinations, there are people trying to separate you from your cash at any given opportunity, and the time-share hawks are circling everywhere. I know it's a well worn cliche, but the people are very friendly, but then we do try our best to speak to people in their own language. I overheard someone complaining that the local bus drivers don't speak a word of English. That's because they're fucking Mexican.

I only came to check my email, so this is a bit rushed, and I also don't know what it will look like because I'm typing on a Spanish keyboard. If it's all snide I'll have to fix it when I get back.

Until then, hope you all have a very happy Christmas, and if you don't celebrate Christmas just have a good time.

Adios amigos.

And I looked at the sky with excited eyes.

Bah humbug, Christmas is cancelled. There will be no decorations, no Turkey, no mince pies or mulled wine. There will be no presents given or received. Best of all, there will be no shitty weather or crap television. For the first time in our married life we are fucking off for Christmas. Yes we are going to Mexico for two whole weeks over the festive season. All the best things about crimbo like drinking, eating and lazing about doing fuck all. Without all the downsides like the stress of buying things that people don’t like, just so they can do likewise for you, no washing up, no unexpected visitors and no forced visits to members of the family you only see once a year.

Note to any burglars reading this: Our house is being looked after by a local housesitting service called “Psycho sitters Inc” Bob the bastard and his mate Vinny the terrible cunt will be living in our house and feeding the fish. You have been warned.

So hopefully I wont see a single fucking thing that is deep, crisp or fucking even. I know it’s predominantly a catholic country, and obviously they will celebrate Christmas with a vengeance, but if I lie in my hammock, stuff myself with fajitas and drink my own body weight in Margaritas, I can miss the whole fucking thing.

Update on the illness:

Apparently it wasn’t a kidney infection, I’ll not go into the gory details. I went back to see my doctor because I was still feeling like shit, and getting very nervous about going on an all inclusive holiday not being able to drink like a fish. He took a lot more blood than I would have liked, checked my heart and prodded my kidneys again just to make sure. He then said I may have a viral infection; fat lot of good the antibiotics did then. I get the result tomorrow.