Closer comes the screaming knife.

Saturday kitchen ! What a bunch of twats.

“Take one filleted Monkfish, your fishmonger should do this for you.” Are they on this fucking planet ? There’s no fishmongers round here, and I live in a fucking fishing port. Supermarket chains have seen them all off, along with butchers and greengrocers. So, what do you think would happen if I walked into my local cheapo supermarket, sidled up to one of the spotty little fuckers stacking shelves, and asked to be pointed in the direction of the filleted Monkfish ? I’ll tell you what would happen, he would look at me like I was from fucking Mars, and say “Yeah mate, they’re in the corner next to the Caviar and Bollinger, you can’t miss them, Geri Halliwell and Kylie-fuckin-Minogue are over there doing their shopping !”