You just haven't earned it yet, baby.

I had an interview at the jobcentre plus, that’s what they call the dole office nowadays. A nice lady went through the large forms had I previously completed, just to make sure I had done it properly and to check the myriad forms of identity I had been told to take along with me. Before the interview started I told the lady that I probably wasn’t entitled to any money until after the 3rd of December, which is when I have been paid up until, and that I was claiming now to ensure my national insurance payments were looked after. After forty minutes perusing my forms and scribbling little notes in the margin, she said: “You probably wont get any benefits until after the 3rd of December but we will process your claim now to ensure you get you national insurance paid”. Forty minutes I’ll never fucking get back !

I was then handed over to another nice lady who has the task of finding me a job; she gave me another form to fill in, and explained everything to me very slowly. The form was really a contract, my part of the deal is to look for work, their part is to do everything in their power not to give me any money. The interview ended abruptly, and I found myself wondering when I get my government issue Burberry cap, swallow tattoo on my neck and the instructions on how to get a nice sallow complexion.

So now I have to write, telephone or visit one prospective employer per week. It’s no fucking wonder there are so many people out of work. What’s wrong with writing, telephoning or visiting all the places you can think of, everyday, until you get work ?