Saturday, June 19, 2004  

Foul creatures are abroad this night.

It’s that time of year again, when my arch nemesis roams the land. Moths of every hue flutter and flit……. Hairy evil bastards. I saw a bright yellow one, big fucking mistake being so colourful, I squashed it good. I know nature is finely balanced, but I would happily remove the fuckers from the whole food chain. It doesn’t help when you work night shifts and you have to wear a bright white hard hat, they come from miles around just to have a go a landing on my fucking head. I especially hate the black ones with the red stripe on the tips of their wings, the man united fans of the moth world. They have suffered heavy casualties recently, shame they haven’t got a moth version of the Red Cross. At least we don’t get the giant ones over here; they have the common decency to remain a twattable size.

I suppose at some point I will have to try and conquer my fear of the unholy fluttering cunts, but the options are a little limited. I don’t fancy aversion therapy, all that electricity and nipple clamps. Hypnosis is out; I may end up thinking I’m a chicken with St Vitas dance. Drugs ? Well it would be a laugh trying but I can’t see it having any effect. No, the only option is to kill them, all of them. Maybe a giant insectocutor just offshore in the Solway. Or possibly gene therapy, splice some hooligan genes into the bastards, they’ll all fuck off to Portugal.

| posted by Simon | 6:40 pm | 0 comments
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