An accent on the e.

Today we had a trip to Carlisle; it's about thirty miles away. The people have a Cumbrian accent, not as thick as those on the west coat, but similar. We then went about seven miles up the road to Gretna for Sunday lunch. Everyone speaks with a Scottish accent, and it's got me puzzled. Why do they speak with completely different accent when they are only seven miles apart ? When we first got to Carlisle we went in Deli France for a drink. I ordered coffee and Tracy ordered an Earl Grey. When the drinks arrived the waiter had only given us one sugar each (why can't they have a fucking sugar bowl) I said to him "can we have some more sugar please ?" "certainly" he said scuttling off to fetch it. When he returned he only had brown sugar for me, no white for Tracy. Tracy asked, very sweetly, if she too could have some more sugar, with a harrummph he re-scuttled to fetch some. Cheeky twat ! not only did he not listen properly when I asked him for something, he then spat his dummy out when he was asked again. I can only deduce from this experience that we are in the midst of an economic boom, because we only get good service in a fucking recession.

I get my broadband in four days, and I've already got my music list started. I'm going to need a bigger hard drive. Anyone got any advice for a BB virgin ?

It's Tracy's birthday tomorrow, she's thirty seven twenty five ! Also, the shop is one today even though it hasn't been open. What is open is a bottle of wine, and I have lots to drink to. Cheers everyone !