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1.  Anne Robinson. Supercilious hairy faced ginger bint.

2.  Lying customers. "I bought this yesterday, and it won't load" So you've taken it home and copied it and now you want your money back. Well you can go and fuck yourself; if it was up to me you would be rotting behind bars you thieving twat.

3.  Fatal exception errors. I hate it when a computer presents me with an error message, then doesn't give me any options. You horrible plastic fuck-pig !


4.  England time wasting. We were playing Macedonia for fucks sake. If we were one nil up against Germany in the final of the world cup then fine, but for fucks sake ! Macedonia ! How far have we sunk ?

5.  Scotch eggs. The single most revolting invention in the history of mankind. Conceived in the bowels of hell, this culinary abomination should be outlawed forthwith.


6.  RPGs. Role playing games, primarily for the console market. Every one of these games is the same, you wander aimlessly for a while then you fight a jelly with wings and a top hat. Get a fucking grip; I know games are forms of escapism but please, inject a little rational thought into these. It's no coincidence that all these come from Japan, I think they have issues.

7.  Crap endings. You sit through two hours of a film, then boom ! It's over, WTF ! Did they run out of cash, or was the director on a promise ? Lets have endings that make a little sense please.


8.  Chandeliers. It's a big light, as in "put t' big light on so I can see mi pools" It's a big light in the middle of your living room, no need to show off.

9.  Rugby. I come from south Manchester, we didn't do rugby. We did football and athletics, we did swimming and cricket. What we didn't do was to chase an egg around the park and pretend it was in any way skilful. Stop this nonsense now.