Thursday, April 14, 2005  

I told you that tranquility would be the key.

Last week we bought a nice new carpet for the bathroom, and yes it is nearly finished. However, I made the stupid mistake of getting them to fit it. I should have known better, whenever you let a craftsman incompetent fuckpig into your home you are just begging for trouble. To compound this unforgivable error of judgement, I then only gave his work a cursory glance before allowing him to leave. Big fucking mistake. On closer inspection…. Ok this was the bit where Tracy says “have you seen what that complete twat has done to our skirting boards and toilet seat ?” to which I tentatively replied “No ?”

I don’t know what the fuck he was doing in there, but there was more destruction than carpet fitting.

Then I remembered, I didn’t use my guarantee card when I gave him the cheque…fucking result, I had a bargaining position. So, this morning I rang the manager to report the damage and ask him what he intended to do about it. It was dinner time before the fucker would even speak to me, by which time I had cancelled the cheque. When I relayed this message to him via his secretary he decided to speak to me. Funnily enough he was round our place within about ten minutes. But that’s when the fun started.

He tried to tell me that the marks on the skirting board had been done the last time a carpet was fitted. Tracy laughed at him. There are no marks on any of the other skirting boards. He denied his fitter had anything to do with the gouge marks on the toilet seat, a toilet seat that had been fitted less than 12 hours before the fitter arrived. He made the grievous error of referring to Tracy as “Love” Which, in no uncertain terms, she told him not to do. I don’t think he realised exactly how close he came to being de-bollocked.

He finally left, with the assurance he would sort this out with his fitter and get back to us. Fine by me, he’s getting no fucking money until he does.

I’ll keep you posted, and if they piss me off I’ll name and shame them.

| posted by Simon | 11:39 pm | 0 comments
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