Monday, November 10, 2003
| posted by Simon |
11:42 am |
We went to see Matrix revolutions last night, and we all thought it was utter shite. Sorry if you haven't seen it yet, but save yourself a few quid go and see Kill Bill instead. Don't get me wrong, the special effects were stunning, the storyline was quite good, but the acting and the script were so full of cheese it may as well have been written by Bob Wensleydale.
About twenty years ago my mate's dad opened a pub, me and my mate went to the opening and got free booze all night. I sat at the bar and drank vodka and orange one after the other until I was absolutely fucking wasted. Not satisfied with that we went to a club, and started again. At this point things become very hazy, the last thing I remember was a couple of mates trying to sober me up by putting my head under the cold water tap in the toilets. I staggered back into the bar thinking they had tried to drown me. The next thing I remember is waking up sat on the back seat of our car with my head propped against the passenger headrest and a puddle of vomit between my feet. I crawled back into the house from were Tracy had left me and managed to climb into bed. As I drifted back into my coma I heard her mumble something about me being a drunken twat, and that I had to clean the mess I left on the stairs the night before. I was ill for two days and after my body had successfully constructed a new stomach lining, to replace the one I had flushed down our toilet, I vowed never to touch vodka again. That is until last night ! I was stuck for something to drink, and bored with the usual beer or red wine, so Tracy suggested vodka and fresh orange. It was bloody lovely, but this time I will exercise a degree of moderation. After sitting through two and a half hours of Keanu Reeves looking puzzled I really needed a stiff drink.
So, I'm very disappointed, it could have been fantastic but it was a let down. My advice for what it's worth, would be to take reloaded and revolutions and give them to Ridley Scott to make one decent film with a different ending, and call it Matrix 2.
And the popcorn tasted like week old yak shit.